I
awoke in the middle of the night. I couldn’t sleep; I was
afraid. I had a terrible dream: At the exit of the nightclub, a
crowd of eager fans surrounded me, pushing against each other in
order to secure my autograph. Most of the fans were young women;
I noticed immediately a little black boy standing off in the
corner alone. The boy had on a dirty yellow shirt, blue shorts
and was barefoot. He was probably homeless, I thought but shook
the image of this little boy walking around with no shoes from
my mind and continued to smile and dazzle the crowd.
The
flash of cameras in my eyes blinded me for a few seconds and I
used my hands to reach for the tiny notepads, the programs with
my face on the front and even sometimes arms or shirts for me to
sign. The odors of day-old whiskey mixed together with perfume
and cologne intoxicated me to the point where I thought I might
fall over. Instead, I stepped back a moment, almost falling over
on the sidewalk.
My
protector was an old face from the streets, someone I had seen
before but didn’t really know too well and he was too busy
talking to a woman to pay attention to him almost falling over.
Instead, a white man with glasses on and a newspaper wrapped
under his arms grabbed my backside and pushed me back up. I
turned around, tipped my cap and smiled at the gentleman.
But
for some reason, I couldn’t take my eyes off the little boy
with the overgrown belly, the too-skinny legs and big, sad eyes
looking at me from behind the rest of the crowd. The boy was
standing in the shadows behind the doorframe, a ragged stuffed
animal in one hand and a piece of red licorice in the other
hand.
The
woman that had been promised to me for a reason I could not
remember at that moment wrapped her arms around my neck and bit
gently on my ear. Her body turned towards me and posed for the
smiling faces. The mink fur around her shoulders almost dropped
onto the soggy red carpet. Her lips planted pink kisses on my
yellow face much to the chagrin of the other women standing
around.
It
was lovely for me, the concert, but my body yearned for rest and
the ability to go home and be left alone. I pulled back my
sleeve to look at the time. Tomorrow morning, my next crowd of
fans awaited me in
New Orleans
but alas, the beloved Circa timepiece watch I always wore on my
right wrist was missing. Perhaps I had left it in my dressing
room. As much as the attention of my fans was exciting and
gratifying, I needed my watch. It let me know when it was time
to move forward. I turned around again. My protector would have
to let me go in through the back of the nightclub to where my
dressing room was to look for my watch. But first, I removed the
woman’s arms from around my neck and my lips kissed her on the
cheek. She looked at me with confusion on her face. The crowd
was calling my name from the street.
“Where
you going, boss?” My protector now observed me heading toward
the entrance. I knocked on the door once and it opened. Everyone
stepped aside so as to not block the entrance.
“Back
inside. I left my gold watch in there,” I replied.
The
rain was beginning to fall outside and the crowd was now
beginning to disperse as I waved goodbye to everyone, including
the woman that was supposed to wait for me. The alcohol, mainly
whiskey, was beginning to relax inside of me. I pointed my
fingers at one of my fellow musicians, whom the woman quickly
wrapped her arms around and forgot about me as soon as I was no
longer in her sight.
The
door shut behind me with a thud and my nostrils were overwhelmed
once again with a slight musty odor. My dressing room had
actually been the janitor’s closet. It was on the immediate
right and the door was partially opened. I feared that my watch
was gone when I looked inside. My fears were right and I saw
nothing of mine left in the room. Then, I realized that I had
not left the watch in this room because I had looked at my watch
right before I went outside. The woman that had been promised to
me had probably swiped the watch when she had wrapped her arms
around me.
I
wondered how she had been able to do that. No matter, she was
gone and I was out of a watch. I opened the door slightly. Only
a few people remained outside. I didn’t feel like being
bothered, not tonight. I decided I didn’t want to go through
the back door. I looked around. I could hear the sounds of a few
people in front. Probably the servers, collecting their tips for
the night. I opened the doors that weren’t locked and looked
for windows that I could escape out of. Finally, I found another
room, an office, with an open window. The room also had that
stale musty odor, shag carpet and an old metal desk. I locked
the door behind me so no one could follow behind me. A chair
from the corner was used to give myself a boost out into the
alley. To my immediate right were the street but also my fans,
the other musicians, and my protector that I didn’t want to be
bothered with and to my left was a backdoor leading into an old
loft warehouse.
My
gut instinct told me not to go inside that warehouse but my body
was ready to collapse. I climbed out of the window and dropped
down onto the street. Smells of garbage, cat urine and sewerage
welcomed me into the alley. My senses were not strong enough to
handle such senses and I gagged onto the ground. I looked back
up and the same boy that I had seen from the doorway was
standing at the corner of the next-door building, looking at me
again. I ignored the little boy and headed towards the
warehouse. Neon lights were blinking from the top of the
building, though I doubted if anyone lived there, if at all.
Though it was nighttime, it was cold and winter and snowing, and
smoke from the loft’s chimney reached out to touch the night
sky. A shooting star fell then right before my eyes and I wished
I had caught it in time to make a wish but I shook that notion
off as silly and continued on my journey.
I
passed a homeless man, lying on top of a pile of dirty blankets.
Fire breathed from a rusted barrow with firewood. An old tin can
near his boots contained a million pennies and a few nickels. I
looked in my pocket for loose change but I couldn’t find any.
The only thing in there was a box of matches to a place called
Paradise
Valley
. Tossing the box into the man’s tin can made me feel good
about myself. At least I had acknowledged him. He acknowledged
me by turning over on his side, snoring at a slightly louder
pace, revealing a few rotted teeth and a missing arm with a
sling over it. I walked over to the door. Through the fogged
windows, I saw a faint light blinking on and off. A whistle
opened my closed ears for a second. Was it a code from my
protector that he was far and something more sinister was near?
Perhaps a train about to pull away? A lovely, full-figured woman
in a purple sequined dress and matching peacock hat pushed past
me, almost pushing me back outside as she made her way up the
stairs. I could hear the tinkle of her glass slippers against
the metal of the staircase. I continued to listen to that
wonderful sound until I could hear no more.
I
saw frost and snowflakes falling down from the top. Each
snowflake was shaped like a musical note or instrument but I
felt heat from down below. The faint light of neon colors
reverberated off the wall. I placed my hand on the railing and
walked slowly down the stairs but then, I heard a loud, crashing
noise up the stairs and a feminine voice screaming. I
immediately thought of the lovely woman that pushed past me
earlier. It was something about that scream that I wanted to
hold onto. I decided to go back upstairs to help her out but
when I turned around again, there was a cage with bars in front
of it, blocking me from going upstairs. I tried opening the door
I came in through but it was locked, almost as if someone had
put a chair against the door.
Then,
I heard the sound of laughter. It was a man’s laughter,
bellowing and hearty. So loud in fact that the staircase was
shaking. Sweat was pouring down my eyes and I could barely see
in front of me. Back down the stairs I went, the stairs getting
smaller and smaller with each turn of a corner. I saw a puddle
at one corner, a smell of old urine that I was now stepping in.
I continued going down the stairs until I reached the bottom: a
train platform. I was now uncomfortable and pushed my sleeves
up. I took my hat off and wiped my forehead with my shirt. I
looked around. The place was completely deserted. Rows and rows
of benches were covered with some liquid, which I assumed (and
hoped) was water.
I
heard a voice deep inside me echo out, “Hello?” The sound
bounced off the walls around me. The lights above me were slowly
dimming. I saw a luggage rack across the tracks, filled with
luggage but no passengers. A brown rat scurried along the
tracks; I wanted to jump over the tracks and go to the other
side where I saw an exit sign and another metal door.
Steam
was rising up from the ground but from where exactly it came, I
wasn’t sure. I heard the crash of lightning, which made my
heart almost leap out of my chest. I wanted to jump down on
those tracks and then climb up on the other side, but then I was
worried that another train might come along. Before I could jump
down onto the train tracks, I heard the slam of a door in the
ticket booth. A red-haired, white man with freckles and a
conductor’s suit came out. He had a newspaper in one hand and
a suitcase in the other. He walked over to me and pulled out a
round timepiece watch from his pocket and looked at it. He
nodded his head toward me. I started to walk toward the tracks
but he put his hand in front of me to stop me. He whispered,
“Wait!” I stood back. Something small and bony tapped me on
the shoulder. I turned around and there was the little black boy
standing behind me.
He
looked a little bit older now with lines under his eyes, like he
had been crying. I bent down to touch him on the shoulder. He
was eating a piece of melon but handed me a golden ticket. I
held it up in my hands. It was too shiny for me to clearly see
the gold lettering. I turned it over and over in my hands. Gold
dust from the lettering was smearing onto my hands. I tried
wiping my hands onto my pants but the gold dust wouldn’t come
off. I realized then that I hadn’t asked the boy where he came
from, where he got the ticket from, and why was he giving the
ticket to me? I turned around and he had vanished.
I
asked the train conductor where the little boy was at and he
looked at me strangely. I asked my question again and he pointed
towards the east. Heading in our direction was a train. I heard
that loud whistle again. This time I could see the train headed
our way. The conductor walked up close to the edge with his
luggage in his hand. He motioned for me to move forward.
Instead, I walked back toward the staircase I had come down
from. It now had a cage across it with bars in front.
I
pulled and grabbed onto it but it would not budge. Frustrated, I
looked around to see if there were any other exits. The only
thing I saw were the bathrooms, a waiting room and right in
front of that a lost-and-found box and above that, a departure
board with no destinations. In fact, the only thing on it was:
The writing is on the wall. The phrase repeated itself over and
over again in gold neon letters.
I
thought perhaps the bathroom might have a window I could climb
out of as some public bathrooms had windows. I didn’t know
what time it was but I knew that I needed to get back to my
hotel room. Though I was tired, I was surprised that I had
enough strength to continue moving around. I walked over to the
bathroom door and pushed against it but it was locked. Pushing
with all of my might, I was still unable to open the door.
I
kicked the door with as much disappointment as I could muster
and then I heard the sound of another whistle, a human one. The
conductor was motioning for me to come over to him. Since there
was no other way for me to get out of the train except jump down
on the tracks, which I thought was pointless since all the doors
on the departing side were locked, I walked over to him.
Boarding on the train was the same lovely woman with the purple
sequined dress.
I
had not seen her appear from anywhere else either but decided
perhaps to board the train. I thought there was a possibility
that I could hop off the train once it arrived at its next
destination and then hitchhike back to town. I ran over to them
as I could see that everyone else was already on there, though I
did not know where these people came from, though I assumed they
went on board when I had my backed turned.
The
conductor was twirling his mustache; he had a big grin on his
face. I walked up to him and handed my gold ticket. The little
boy came up behind me and tugged on my suit jacket. He was
pointing at something on the train but the windows were too
foggy. I could not see what he was pointing at.
It
was my mistake to ignore him. He didn’t have pants on anymore
but I was too tired to care. I was tired of this place and ready
to go. I wanted not only out of this train station but I needed
to get away from this town. I boarded the train and noticed that
the immediate cars to both my left and right were full. One
thing I noticed though was that everyone was wearing hats. I
could not see any of their faces. The lovely woman was ahead of
me and moving towards the back of the train. I decided to follow
her but before I could, another conductor blocked my entrance.
He told me to have a seat in a row of empty seats I had not seen
before.
I
looked out the window. The little boy was looking up at me
through the open window. He had a suit on now, with oxford shoes
and a felt hat. He was tap dancing with everything he had. The
harder I stared at him, the harder his feet beat against the
ground. Everyone around me began snapping their fingers. No one
was looking at the boy, though who tapped to his own sound, his
legs stretching him and making him eight feet tall.
Another
whistle erupted then and then on cue, everything stopped. The
boy walked off the platform, disappearing into the smoke that
was now coming from the train. Everyone went back to what they
were doing and I looked forward. I could hear the sound of
someone weeping around me. I turned around and around again but
I wasn’t able to see where it was coming from. The sound of it
saddened me.
Then
there was a loud crash. Glass shattered from above us and
pounded down on the roof of our train and covered the platform.
Lightning was striking all around us. The lights inside of our
caboose went on and off. The sound of the person weeping, which
I was sure now was a woman, I could hear very loudly. It began
to rain inside the train station. The sound of raindrops against
the shattered glass reminded me of the lovely woman’s glass
slippers against the metal staircase. I heard someone shout,
“We must get them out of here!” The lights went off again
and stayed off. I heard the woman weeping move forward until she
was sitting across from me. She had on a black veil covering her
face but there was a familiarity about her.
Once
she sat down, her weeping quieted. I was not sure where I was
headed next. I heard another loud scream but this time I did not
turn around. I was focused on reaching my next destination,
which I did not know. Lightning struck again and then I could
hear no more. The train conductor began to speak, his lips were
moving but no sound was coming out. I heard him point in a
northern direction. The woman with the veil began to protest.
Everyone around me stood up and they were protesting too.
My
head began to spin and a rock came through the window next to
me. The little boy was rain-soaked in his suit. I guess he had
been trying to get my attention. He was jumping up and down but
the train was slowly moving ahead. He stepped back and began
pointing furiously at something over my shoulder I could not
see. The black-veiled woman removed her head covering and I saw
that she was my mother. She had a picture of me in her hand. It
was the same grown man whose hands I was staring at. I opened my
mouth but no sound came at. One bright light bulb slowly dimmed
behind me. I saw a shadow inching forward. I was fascinated by
its shape. I had seen it somewhere before. I saw an object being
pulled from the depths of the shadows. The little boy was now
running along with the train and he tried to grab onto the
now-broken open space but his legs and strength were too small
to lift him up. I tried to grab him but I felt a force that I
could not feel yank me back forcefully into my seat. The train
had reached the tunnel by then. Sweat began to cascade down my
forehead. I panicked and yelled out, “Stop the train!” I
wanted to be away from the darkness that I could not see. I ran
into the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face. His large
shadow was behind me. I looked in the mirror and was blinded by
the sight. It was me, only older and sadder—standing next to
the boy, young and gullible. They were both looking at me. Good
versus evil. I screamed out but no one heard me. I pushed past
them outside the bathroom and screamed in the hallway. No one
turned around. I was invisible. The last thing I remember was
the man behind me, the feel of his gun against my head. We were
not too far from the tunnel light. He pulled the trigger then
and I was gone.
*
* *
Piper Davenport
Piper
Davenport
is a graduate of the University of Michigan-Dearborn with a BA
in English. Currently, she is in the MFA in Creative Writing
Program at
Goddard
College
. She has been featured in The Lyceum and The Pitkin
Review. She lives and loves in
Detroit
,
MI
, hopes to graduate, and buy her own house. She watches HDTV in
her spare time.
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